toddler drama and Jesus

Two is a really fun age and I can list a bunch of reasons why, but I kind of want to talk about toddler tudes instead. 

Is it just me or do tots know how to really confuse a situation? One minute ready to throw down the gantlet when asked to pick up toys and the next crying hysterically and desperately needing a hug. It literally happens just like that. For instance today, I told Drew it was time to eat her lunch. This was after giving her a good bit of time avoiding lunch to play with her toys. I try to understand that she probably doesn't want to be hurried and I make an effort not to continually herd her from one thing to the next. But this kid wouldn't eat most days unless you shoved food under her nose. She would much rather be realllly busy with Peppa Pig and playing her favorite "jam song" or coloring markers in the wrong places and hissing at the cat. Two-year-old priorities right?

So today, after much persuading, she wasn't giving in. She said, "I no eat right now!" But we had pushed the time and I really needed her to eat before napping. I fussed at her, "Drew, it's time to eat!" To which she started rolling on the floor screaming "no" and kicking her toys around. Which of course aggravated me. I calmly attempted to pick her up and she went limp. Ugh. Literally, Drew, my belly is getting so big, bending to pick you up not only looks awkward but is seriously uncomfortable. Never in my life have I had to worry about my bottom hanging out of my pants as I do when attempting to wrestle a toddler while pregnant. I'm most terrified when this happens in Target. Because where else does an embarrassing toddler melt down happen??

 I grow more annoyed. I tell her about why "we need to eat our food to grow" and "how it will soon be nap time and she will be hungry." 

She argues more, pulling away from me. Then just as swiftly as the obnoxious behavior began, it ends. She comes to me open arms and needing a hug. She puts her head on my shoulder just crying. 

All of this over lunch, really. 

Really?

We hugged for a long time. We rocked for a minute. I felt my tenseness subside. 

I get it. I can relate, Drew. Some days I feel so overwhelmed and stressed out and I know how it is reflected back to you and the people I love. I can be a real witch some days. That's how we get sometimes. I mean people. I think it's a tendency in some people, maybe all, I'm not sure. To hold things in, go about your day holding it in, whatever it is. Then someone says something and you're ready to rip them apart. I find when this happens to me, I end up crying to your daddy. I will fuss at him or argue over nothing and then cry. 

And your daddy will be all, "Who is the highly emotional animal I married??"

I'm kidding. He's always forgiving and willing to let me hug on him too. Maybe you should just curb your emotional, mama-like tendencies to him. He's good at it taking it all in and for what it is. Just yesterday I cried to your daddy about the whale of a girl I've turned into. About how I've become this big, awkwardly and slow moving, sloth of a lady. He looked at me like I had gone crazy and said, "You're pregnant and I still think you're pretty!" 

In all truth though, I am trying my very best to think about what Jesus would do. I need one of those bracelets, or maybe a tattoo, that would be way cooler. WWJD? Agh. He would be so much better at this than I am. Discipline and parenting issues aside, Jesus would love on me. He would meet me where I'm at and genuinely seek to understand where my heart was at. "What's bothering my girl today," He might say? And so Drew, some days, I try really hard and say the same to you. 

You still didn't eat your lunch. You did ask for orange slice gummies. I negotiated with you for a peanut butter banana instead. You're pretty great, even when a grumpy girl.